


Ouch I have lost myself again

by HoneyBebeGom



Category: Glee
Genre: Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, M/M, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25428640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyBebeGom/pseuds/HoneyBebeGom
Summary: For a moment Sam wondered 'maybe he would have been happier if he didn't meet kurt' before pushing these thoughts aside. A different look at why Blaine cheated (Blam bromace - past? klaine - future Seblaien)No bashing or hating characters Klaine will actually have a strong frienship/brotherly relationship later in my fic!!
Relationships: Blaine Anderson & Cooper Anderson, Blaine Anderson & Sam Evans, Blaine Anderson & Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson/Original Male Character(s), Blaine Anderson/Sam Evans, Blaine Anderson/Sam Evans/Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Blam - Relationship, Seblaine - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note:No I'm not supporting cheating nor I'm making excuses for Blaine he made a mistake but he doesn't deserve all that hate too just a small look about what may have pushed him to edge!

**_Help, I have done it again_ **

When he first met kurt at the staircase he never thought he would end up feeling like that again, for once Blaine Anderson felt like he could have his happy ending like he could be...Loved!

At first it was perfect I mean why wouldn't it be he did everything for kurt even left his safe heaven to join him at the school he wanted he made sure to dress like _Kurt_ wanted , act like _Kurt_ wanted , always be there when Kurt wanted it was so perfect , only _Kurt_ matter because if _kurt_ is happy...Then he was _happy_.. _ **right?**_

i-isn't that how relationship worked? he just need to stop being so needy yeah and stop asking for Kurt attention gosh he is such a _teenager_ so what if Kurt doesn't answer his texts and calls immediately like he does, so what if Kurt speak about himself and his friends totally ignoring Blaine only when they talk after a long week of no communication so what if he no longer kurt _first priority_!

_**I have been here many times before** _

It's not a fucking excuse it was never an excuse for cheating he know he fucked up _he fucking know it_ Blaine know ,understand and accept he is the bad guy here he is the one who fucked up because he just wanted to feel loved ...or...wanted n-no Not an excuse for cheating he accepted he is the bad guy he always do that become so F-fucking needy... But it's not fair that everyone turned against him like they all are saints and most of them didn't do what he did but no because Blaine Anderson aren't allowed to be comforted or be hurt because of his mistake and now he is alone again surrounding by people who hate him and for once he allowed himself to be selfish and ask:

"Am I not allowed to be hurt too ,a-m not allowed to be unperfect, Am no allowed t-t make mistake i-it's unfair Sammy I just wish someone would have asked me and understand why I did it but nah I fucked up just like that I mean who really care about the new warbler kid R-right? I will always be an outsider...Right?"

**Sam Pov:**

Sam look at his friend not knowing how to comfort him yes Blaine was the one at fault here but he wasn't the only one... pushing those thoughts aside he sit closer to his friend gently hugging Blaine because even those who made mistakes deserve comfort too right?

He probably the only one who thought of checking on Blaine maybe because he's not biased but he just know Blaine needed someone and he would gladly help his friend because he need help too and looking at Blaine fragile states it was so different from before hell he saw some video about Blaine in his old school Delton and it hit him how much confident and happier Blaine was there.

Sam not that dumb like most people think but he defiantly not ignorance to what's happening right now he know how Blaine was a huge supportive to kurt confidence and everyone can see Blaine was the best thing that happen to kurt and looking at Blaine now he can't say the same thing about kurt existing in Blaine life and for one he though would Blaine be happier if he didn't met kurt?

**_Hurt myself again today And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame_ **

I mean he would still be more confident he would still be the captain of the warblers he would still be surrounded by friends who care about him for him not for someone else sake , hell he wouldn't have been slushed by them wouldn't have the surgery for his eyes and he wouldn't get shoved into lockers by bullies again and again... I mean why did he sacrificed so much? is this what love truly is one person sacrificing his happiness for the sake of the other aren't relationship supposed to from two side...yes one did a mistake the other should talk to them understand why they did this Maybe just maybe if Blaine was happy and confident of his relationship he wouldn't...no too late now to say maybe and what if!

_**Be my friend, hold me Wrap me up,** _

_**enfold me I am small and needy** _

_**Warm me up and breathe me** _

_**Ouch I have lost myself again** _

_**Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found** _

_**Yeah I think that I might break** _

_**Lost myself again and I feel unsafe** _

_**Be my friend** _


	2. Chapter 2

Looking at his friend sleeping restless beside him Sam felt truly helpless he never wanted to see Blaine in this condition hence why he interfere in the first place, but now he felt a little guilty _Did he do the right thing?_ maybe he shouldn't have said anything but...if he didn't Blaine would have been miserable for the rest of his life!

**~Few days ago~**

Blaine was sitting nervously with his laptop open in front of him he keep glancing at the clock it was 5:20 his Skype date was Kurt is supposed to be 5:00 , checking his phone ' _Nope no messages_ ' But it's OK I mean it's not the first time Kurt was late for their date he...he was used to it by now.

He doesn't know he is always nervous whenever he was talking to Kurt lately he doesn't now why he felt so small beside him like he isn't enough.

5:27 it also doesn't help that today suck too getting slushed twice isn't funny thank god Sammy have extra hoodie which was kinda large on him 'it's so comfy' he just hope kurt wont notice his different attire. 

***BING***

oh finally "Hey kurt!" Blaine greeted happily finally they could start their date, kurt look really good NY did a good job for him and Blaine felt so proud and happy to be his partner.

kurt look at him for a second eyes narrowing _'here we go'_ "What is that?" 

"No hi Blaine I missed you?" Blaine replayed sarcastically he know kurt wont leave it alone 

Kurt turned his cold eyes on him "Blaine you know we have a date today the least you could do is dress appropriately at least I mean who's hoodie is that even "

Blaine sign 'it's just a hoodie for god sake "it's sammy" 

"...Sam?"

"yes?"

".."

"what?"

"Blaine what's going in with you two are you cheating on me with Sam" Kurt finally snapped angrily.

to say Blaine was shocked was no surprised I mean wow does Kurt really think so low of him he looked at kurt sadly and asked "is that really what you think happened" 

"Honestly Blaine I wouldn't be surprised after all you did it once and once a cheater always a cheater" 

Ouch and here we go again "you never gonna let that down are you? you always keep bringing it up no matter the occasion, I mean if I dress wrong then I'm cheating if disagree with your superior opinion then I'm cheating no matter what I did you always keep using my mistake against me and if that's what you really think they why did you take me back?" 

"Because no one else would" Kurt snapped looking angrily like Blaine insulted him. 

"...what does that even mean?"

"and here we go with the dumb bimbo act! you should be thankful I took you back, cheaters don't get second chances but for the good of my heart I did so why don't you shut up be a sweetheart and go change that stupid hoodie and stop wasting my time" 

Blaine felt the tears build in his eye he didn't want to believe what he is hearing but it's not the first time Kurt always pressure to be the perfect boyfriend dress like he wanted , act like he wanted he even try to control who is Blaine allowed to be friend with and he felt _trapped_ he felt _suffocated_ and he felt tired " yea sorry for wasting your time kurt but no need for this conversation to go any longer" he hesitate for a second before closing his Skype and laptop together before completely breaking down he felt so... _tired_.

for once he wanted to the one who is _vulnerable_ he felt tired of always trying to proving his love for kurt didn't he do much to prove it already, he is so tired of always being the villain in the story no matter what he did right or wrong he will always be the one who hurt kurt in everyone else eyes I mean the break up show who really care for him and who tolerate him because he was kurt boyfriend. 

He doesn't know what he would have done without Sammy support hell even Sebastian tried texting him asking if he was OK and he ignore him because of _Kurt_ it's funny when he met kurt he friend him make sure the warblers open up to him and how did kurt repay him? by isolation him from his friends.

Blaine suddenly stopped open his eye wide tear streaming down his face " _O-oh god_ what have I done?" 

~~**_tbc or not_ ** ~~


End file.
